Dude I swear every time I hear something from you it gets better and better. I enjoy this piece, and rightfully so, it has innocence and tragedy within it at the same time. Plus, the fact that this is all improv done on a simple keyboard... it blows me away.
My only complaint is the violin going up so unnaturally high from the beginning to 0:48 and again from 4:30 to the end. Usually I would not be as against it as in other pieces that do this, but here it sounds so strained. It doesn't fit in as well with the nature of this piece because it's a splitting strain that comes out heavily. I would suggest bringing it in a little, either through velocity or through hardness.
Overall, though, it's still great. In my opinion, it has a real good chance in NGADM. Wonderful job and good luck :D
Thank you! If every piece you hear seems improved, perhaps it's a sign I'm slowly getting better :)
It's funny you mention innocence. Some years ago, I made a collab with i0ta called "Threnody for Innocence", of a similar nature. We should remake it with some higher quality instruments at some point though.
Also, this composition is by no means an improvisation! This is a carefully planned out piece, start to finish, the piano played on my electric piano (link in the description). It's just not played with a strict tempo, because that adds to the emotion. Thus, I also have to personally disagree with the complaint about the high violin; it's exactly like I want it, compositionally. That said, I knew everyone wouldn't like it, if for nothing else than preferential reasons.
I wouldn't call the violin's playing unnaturally high though. The highest note is a high G note, the same that's demonstrated (fairly) cleanly in this video:
So if there's one thing I noticed about this, it was the bird chirps, mainly because I read the description before playing it. As a progressive house/dnb piece, it kinda fits with the mood the title and description set. I could see the sun shining a bit, and I could see some of the clouds as well in the second half. Unlike sequenced, I didn't think it was too loud (unless my hearing is that bad :/ ).
I have two problems with this. First, the birds to thinderstorm. I heard the birds die out, but I never really got where it turned into a storm until about five seconds in. It's less obvious than it looks, and I feel there could have been ambiance to help make that transition. Second, the storm itself. For a piece like this, which is supposed to show things going from good to bad, I feel it may be okay to go all out on that storm segment, make it feel like a real storm. It just doesn't feel storm-y with wubs and a somewhat change in energy.
Overall, pretty good piece. It has, in my opinion, a fair chance in NGADM. Good job and good luck :)
I did actually have thunderstorm ambience, it may have been to quiet compared to the rest of the things (it was during the break between the two sections). Perhaps I should've changed the progression in that part to something that sounded a bit darker.
As we get out of the extended into at 1:00, we get the main part of the whole piece, the first melody. I like it a lot, it kinda reminds me of some other songs I have listened to before and liked. Afterwards, I kinda got the lo-fi feels, especially with that melody at 2:58, which sounds something out of a sci-fi sort of thing. I like the ideas in this piece as a whole and how they're portrayed.
One thing I will mention, though, is the mixing of the drums, particularly the bass, at some parts, mainly during the extended intro and ending parts. The bass just seems to throb since there's nothing that it needs to get over, and that's something that can be bad until stuff goes over it and dampens it a little. But until then, tone down the volume a bit on the bass and you will be good.
Overall, I like the ideas in this and how they're portrayed. In my opinion, this could stand a slim chance in NGADM. Good job and good luck :)
Ok, so if I have to say something about the piece, it's that this is pretty unique. It's hard to find a piece that has only a music box, and this, for what it is, stands good on it's own. The melody's out there, there's plenty of backing, it's fresh, and it sounds good too.
My only real reason for holding this back from being higher is something that almost works against itself - the piece having only a music box. I will admit, it's hard to make a piece with only a music box and not make the listener crave something more, and it's the same for many one-instrument covers. Although it's nothing bad at all, I would love to see a cover or remake of this with more instruments, partly to put more emotion into this, but also to expand on this. I like the idea because it opens up a realm of opportunity, it's just a matter of if, and when, it will come to light.
Overall, not too shabby. This may have a fine chance of standing in NGADM. Great job and good luck ;)
Thank you for your comment and your support. As you may have seen by now, I didn't pass this round. I was in a difficult pod, and this song may not have been the most suitable for the competition. Still I had fun making a song written for a music box and focus on getting the melody and chord progression etc right without trying to mask bad song writing with good sounding instruments. My idea was, if it's a good melody with a good chord progression, it will sound good with only a music box. I guess that idea is true, but it was pretty difficult to write a good song for a music box. It has a lot of limitations. You're right when you say this will sound good if it's remade with multiple instruments. You can really do a lot more with it that way. Have some better build up. Set the right mood. Put more emotion in it like you said. As a matter of fact, I'm working on three remakes of this song at the moment. I will finish and upload all of them in due time. Also, I will revisit the music box version and see if I should make it more interesting.
Dude I love this. It's short but amazing. I had to listen to it at least three times to be happy with myself lol. Even afterwards, I had to watch the video because I had to see it being done. I love every bit of this, and it reminds me a little of a piece called "Ruins Theme" from this game I enjoy called Slime Rancher. My only qualm that I would have with this - which is not major at all - I would have loved to see it end the way it did but in the D major feeling it gets around 0:30, but even still I like the ending as it was.
And about the fiverr small piece creation thing you're doing - I love the idea. Personally, I can't wait to see how you take ideas from people and make them into things like this. In all honesty, I would contribute to this if I could. I can't wait to see the pieces that emerge from the ideas that people give you :)
Why thank you!
This piece is noticably different from my usual style, even if some elements are retained. I wrote it to be a bit more easily digested, I suppose :)
I'm listening to "Ruins Theme" while writing my response, and I can definitely hear the resemblance! Yeah, I decided to give the piece a pretty expected ending. I mainly tried to create a style and structure that made sense given the context of a 1 minute piece, so that it doesn't necessarily feel like it's cut short.
Thanks, I'm glad you like the idea! Oh and ofc, don't worry about not contributing, I'm in no need for the money. I just thought I should try it out! I'm not sure if anyone will be interested, but that'll be alright too :)
Thank you for the support!
I now understand why this piece won CHIPS 20. I'm surprised that this is my first time hearing this piece in it's entirety (or at least I can't recall listening to it back when it was going on lol). I love it, it's so clean and pure, and it brings together two people whose music I completely enjoy. So I'm going to get into the review, from my second time listening, start to finish: I like the buildup at the beginning, how it's suspenseful, but I feel that there could have been more of a rise to the brass at 0:23. I can then hear slight dissonance in the brass, especially the higher instruments, which in this case I love because it highlights the opening tension. And the electronic sounding thing at 0:34 sounds really good, the only thing I could see being an issue is it being slightly out of place compared to the acoustic nature of the piece as a whole. I like the feeling afterwards, though. I also like what follows, at 0:48, but it somehow is a hasty transition to a new feeling that's different than what's immediately before (unless that's the monster coming out of the darkness/curtain). Following that, at 0:59, it almost transitions into a fancy ball-sorta thing, which I can kinda visualize the dance going on behind the curtain (assumption on the art). This goes on for a while until 1:32, when the music changes up, and I can see the girl now hugging the darkness (again, assumption on art). The mood changes again at 2:04, when I assume is where the transformation from darkness to man occurs. I enjoy this part, but the voices that come in at 2:13 seem out of place, mainly because they aren't loud enough to be leading nor soft enough to be in the choir. Moving on, the pause at 2:21 leading into 2:23 was a nice touch, and I assume it's the girl falling into the now-man's arms. Eventually, that leads into the feeling of the girl being carried by the guy, and then at 3:32, them going into water (the water is another art assumption). I really enjoyed the ending, namely 3:54 onward, but the end of the piano solo at the end, from 4:08, is a little dragged out in my opinion. I feel like a much shorter and simpler ending would do here. Overall, though, I like this piece a lot. Good luck to you both in AIM ;)
Hi there! Thank you for reviewing this piece, not once, but twice :O!
Since we didn't on chips, we'll respond to your critiques more properly here!
"but I feel that there could have been more of a rise to the brass at 0:23. "
=> Sure, we can hear what you mean. That said, we also feel that applies to the piece as a whole. We have lots of things we feel could still use some improvement too, but we decided not to focus too much on the small things once we felt we had managed to express the emotions (we gave quite a lot of attention to details though!). One of the downsides with using VSTs is you have a limited set of samples. There's only so much altering that can be succesfully achieved through EQ and whatnot. That said, we also intend to improve the mix a bit after the competition, in general!
"And the electronic sounding thing at 0:34 sounds really good, the only thing I could see being an issue is it being slightly out of place compared to the acoustic nature of the piece as a whole."
=> Using hybrid fx in an orchestral piece that mostly sounds realistic is definitely unconventional, but taking the theme into account, we don't feel that it's out of place. If we ever remade this for an orchestra we'd use a drumroll, and maybe some wild brass/strings/choirs to get a similar feel instead (We'd also have to heavily alter the panning :'D).
"I enjoy this part, but the voices that come in at 2:13 seem out of place, mainly because they aren't loud enough to be leading nor soft enough to be in the choir."
=> I assume you mean the tenor solist, panned towards the left? That part is definitely packed with a lot of things! It's meant to be kind of like a duet beween the tenor and the violin, while there are still a lot of other instruments playing at the same time.
"...but the end of the piano solo at the end, from 4:08, is a little dragged out in my opinion."
=> It was fun to see how you interpreted the art for the different parts! 0:48 is totally the monster having fully come out of the curtain, aka the start of panel 4 (as mentioned in the response to TL), as you speculated. Aside from that, the story moves a bit quicker for you than for us, it seems. At 2:23 you see the girl falling into the man's arms, while for us it symbolizes the girl being determined about helping the dark creature (a few panels earlier). Since you reached the end of the story quicker, it might explain why the piano part felt like it dragged on a bit, to you. Either way, it has been fun to see people interpreting the parts differently! It shows how people think of music in different ways as well. We should make a video at some point, borrowing the artwork, switching the panels when we feel it's appropriate :)
Basically, the piano section is bittersweet, partly because there's no definitive or happy ending. We wanted to portray the pensiveness and ambiguity associated with the final slide.
Thanks for your thoughts, and for the good luck wishes! Hopefully this makes up for us not responding to your previous review ^___^
In all honesty, I really enjoy this song. It's got some pretty good sound choice, and I really enjoyed listening to what the music box had to say. However, even after listening to it a couple of times, I don't get the connection to the story in the long term. I get the connection at some points, moreso at the beginning orchestral sequence, but as it gets to 0:38 it starts to stray a little from the story (although I can see the mother being taken or the kid running in that part), but going into 1:18 almost feels like a complete separation from both the story and the piece altogether. That story comes back at 1:53, but it's that middle that just feels like filler. In addition, the drums that come in at 2:32 pull away from that feeling. I could understand with orchestral drums or percussion, but it kinda feels as out of place as the rock thing. Overall, I like the sound, and the general feel, but the story kinda skips around and is muggy in much of the piece. Still, pretty good job :)
Thank you for the review! Your criticism makes sense. The truth is that I struggled to continue the piece after the intro, so I gave myself much more liberty with sound design so that I could move forward.
Dude that intro sounds like Footloose in a way, especially with that bass line. I love how happy this sounds, feels almost like a big bouncing inflatable green ball. Really like this a lot :)
Wow, just wow. It's honestly nice to hear your stuff, it's full of emotion and meaning, rather instead of sounds that are just simply made. I really enjoy this piece, especially since it fits its name so well. I can almost imagine sitting under the Northern Lights just by listening to this.
That said, there were a couple of times where I felt a couple of notes didn't fit well with everything, like at 0:23 with that high note, at 2:16 with that low note, right before 3:02 within the chord, at 3:26 following the very high note, at 3:52 quickly following the high note as well - I listened to each several times over and somehow they didn't fit. I imagine those were some accidental hits, and I can't really criticize you on it because of how you just came back after a week lol. But that's really the only problem I see with this - all the little key changes are handles beautifully, the piece in its entirety is so innocent... I love this so much, wonderful job.
I'm not entirely sure from your review if you got that this is an improvisation in its entirety :)
That said, I agree with most of the criticism, and there were some mistakes indeed ^____^
Thanks again for taking the time to listen so careully, and for the comments!
AAA I think I may have accidentally voted when trying to tap on your profile to go to your YouTube because the link was not working in the description until after the vote went in, I don't know what it went in as but I will write this review to hopefully replace that vote (if a moderator sees this and the vote overturns this review, if they can fix the vote to a 4 that would be great :D).
So this is honestly a calm piece, and I can honestly say the name fits it. It has that feeling like that of a sparkler, with some of a sprinkler. I love this for the same reason that I love Improv On A Dream: there's feeling in both of them that provokes what you want the listener to feel; here, it's more like sitting under a warm tree on a summer night with some light fireworks twinkling above.
There's really only one thing I have to complain about this piece, and that's at 1:08 until the end. Generally that section feels like a rinse and repeat of the first, just up the octave and with some changes at the end. I feel like there's so much more you could do with that section; at the very least, my advice is if you're going to do that kinda thing at the end, place a sort of interlude in the middle that builds up to that section (maybe a key change too). I also wanted to complain about the chord at 0:08 being as dissonant as it is, but after listening multiple times I understand why it is, and that's honestly something I'm not complaing about.
Dude I am SO SORRY if I accidentally made your song look unintentionally bad, I was just trying to look at how it was done on the keyboard and my phone was being derpy, hopefully that can be fixed ;3; But in all honesty, this is a wonderful piece. After hearing Improv On A Dream on CHIPS, this lives well up to the standards that I came in to this with. Well done!
Haha, don't worry about the possibly mistaken voting. I've done that by accident in the past too, and it's no big deal! :)
Thanks for the review! Usually I don't repeat things outright without any change. However, for this piece, I felt it fit quite well. It's a relaxing piece, and I don't feel a need for it to vary any more than it does. Perhaps it works better if you imagine it as background music?
I'm glad you learned to like the chord at 0:08, since I think it's chords like that which make the piece interesting :)
Also, thank you for listening more than once!
As for the link, the player is supposed to open under it, but NG is having some issues with that, it seems. You can right-click it and open it to get to the video though.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
came out to NG and I said "oh hi"
Musician (freelance, FNF, game)
Making music that people enjoy, hoping to get better every day :D
PFP: @/Bleak-Creep on NG